Victoria Sports Online

by Jammer Karim

As I sat down last night to watch the Lost series finale, I prepped myself for a one hour finale that was sure to answer all the questions they had set up over the past years. I soon realized that it would be longer than an hour, so I assumed I’d be sitting here for 2 hours. Sure enough, this finale didn’t want to end, and after 2.5 hours of watching the finale, the show ended. The finale reminded me a lot of this article. You just want the column to end, and when you get to point 15 you’re like “F_ _c, there’s still 10 more points to go”. Well, I can promise you is this: It won’t take you 2.5 hours to read this.

1. The Canadian men’s soccer team will play a friendly soccer match against Argentina on May 24th.

2. This is the soccer equivalent of the whole Lawrence Taylor saga with Argentina being LT and Canada being the 16-year-old girl. Saddest part is that the 16-year-old girl probably had a better chance of saving her dignity.

3. ESPN will be in a constant state of arousal for the next 38 days. Or as I like to call it, a permanent Lebroner: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/feature/index?page=LeBron-Tracker

4. Stickin with Lebron, the New Jersey Nets are officially the first team out of the Lebron James sweepstakes as lottery balls rolled out of their favour. This dropped them from the first overall pick to number three in June’s NBA draft. After losing 70 games this season, the Nets may have just been dealt their biggest blow of the year.

5. On a side note, I found the NBA draft lottery to be much more entertaining when the Vancouver Grizzlies were in it every year getting screwed out of the first overall pick.

6. Lance Armstrong is being accused of using steroids. In other news, Tiger Woods enjoys casual sex.

7. Stat of week: Remove the Miami Heat (2006) and Philadelphia 76ers (1983) and only six teams have won the last 28 NBA championships (Lakers, Celtics, Pistons, Spurs, Rockets, Bulls). Ladies and gentlemen, parity at its finest.

8. Ten-time NBA champion and Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson has accused Jammer blog favourite, Steve Nash, of carrying the ball when he dribbles (for those of you wondering, this is illegal). This prompted Nash to give us this:

9. Quote of week: “The best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn’t seem to have a problem with it”. Ouch!

10. Picture of the week: Who’s the Boss in this picture? http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2ccWyQ
/sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/images/05/21/favre-danza.jpg/r:t

11. Best commercial ever? Yes I know I say this EVERY week. But this one is a tough one to argue against. It’s even got a cameo from the Queen herself (Elizabeth, not Latifah) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idLG6jh23yE&feature=player_embedded

12. Chris Bosh has narrowed down his list to five teams he would like to play for: New York Knicks, Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers, and Toronto Raptors. Cue this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WhuikFY1Pg

13. As Cookie Monster so eloquently asks, can you figure out which one it is? I’ll give you a hint: the team sucks, and is located in Canada

14. PS. How brutal does Cookie Monster look now? Old age has caught up to this guy. I honestly thought he was going to die half way through that song.

15. Non-sports thought of the week: “Please don’t tell me how Lost ended last night. I’m up to the point where they discover a hatch”--Conan O’Brien on twitter

16. I’m going to use this spot here to shower some dap to Jammer Blog favourite Pavel Datsyuk for taking home the Top Forward Award at the IIHF World Championship.

17. Sticking with the championship, can someone please tell me what purpose Evgeni Malkin served this year? He did nothing for the Pens before the Olympics. Nothing at the Olympics. Did even less for the Pens after the Olympics. Was almost as invisible as Crosby was in that Montreal series. And then he pulled a no show at the World Championship. Seriously, why did this guy even bother getting going to training camp this year?

18. Irony of the week: Both the Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers retooled and built their teams this season to beat each other (Magic, see Vince Carter. Cavs, see Antwan Jamison). Unfortunately, they never got the chance to play each other because neither of them built a team that could beat the Celtics. The Cavs did not have anyone to guard Kevin Garnett (see Antwan Jamison), and there isn’t a warm body on the Magic who has the ability to stay between Rajon Rondo and the basket.

19. There comes the point in every series when everyone knows who the better team is. In the cases of the Magic and the Cavs, it was painfully obvious when they realized neither of them could beat Boston.

20. Final thought: After six years on the air, Lost had its series finale on Sunday, which I’m assuming broke every single TV ratings record. It’s amazing how long ago 6 years is. Think about it: Ovechkin and Crosby weren’t in the NHL. Brian Burke was still with the Canucks. Peyton Manning hadn’t won a Super Bowl. Kobe Bryant had never won an MVP award. The Phoenix Coyotes were actually making money. Bryant Reeves was still being paid by the Vancouver Grizzlies. And most notably, Tiger Woods slept with his wife only.

21. It’s amazing how much can change over a six-year time period. My prediction for the next six years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1TxiVhrkZA

Have a great weekend everyone!